Scarlett Johansson, by Grover’s Mill (Muse Cycle #6)

This was going to be a rant about all the things I hate. But I also thought I should include some things I love too, for balance. When I realised Scarlett Johansson’s name would fit perfectly in the main chorus riff the song was set. It gave the song a focus it didn’t have before. Paris Hilton came into it by way of the hate rant ‘list’ I had drawn up, and I realised she would be a good foil for Scarlett. In the course of my job as a relief teacher I’d often lamented how so many schoolgirls have pictures of Paris Hilton in their diaries and folders, how they seem to idolise her and what she stands for, and this was a chance to say something about that. It goes without saying, as contrast, Scarlett is the classiest and most stylish actress (and person) to come out of Hollywood. I have her amazing album Anywhere I Lay My Head, and recently watched a new one of hers, Asteroid City, in which she plays a respected actress. Type casting!

The couplet that starts “Won’t you tell me why you were deceitful” is something I’d been wanting to use in a song since 1996! In case you don’t know: Anna Karina was a French actress of the Sixties who often appeared in her husband Jean Luc Godard‘s films; Cristina Scabbia is a beautiful ‘metal babe’ who sings in an Italian heavy metal band I like called Lacuna Coil; Allyson Hannigan is Willow in Buffy; and Morena Baccarin plays Inara, the ‘companion’ in Joss Whedon’s Firefly show and Serenity film. I assume you know who Elizabeth Taylor, Emmylou and Buffy are!

Once I had the words, I realised I had a kind of old school punk song on my hands. That made it a natural for a Johnny Rotten-esque vocal. I did a Johnny version but couldn’t quite make it work. I sounded more Eric Cartman (from South Park) than Johnny Rotten (I need John Lydon to sing this!). Instead, I opted for this ‘straight’ version with what is really just a boring guide vocal.

Scarlett Johansson, 4.05 mins

I also did an instrumental version of the song which I called Corrida. It’s a sort of ‘bullfight’ between Scarlett and Paris featuring duelling guitars. The playing’s a bit iffy, but it at least has the virtue of not featuring my vocals!

Corrida, 3.15 mins