Tue. Jul 23rd, 2024

Burlesque Babe, by Grover’s Mill (Muse Cycle #5)

This came about when I attended a burlesque night at the Toff In Town in Melbourne. Burlesque doesn’t have the sleazy connotations it used to have in ‘the old days’: these days it’s post-modern retro fun for both sexes. I’d been to a number of these nights and they’re always well attended by women as well as men. I love it. Anyway, there I was, looking up at yet another beautiful fulsome babe doing her thing, and the lyrics for the song started coming into my head. I kept thinking of the music to another song of mine, Goin’ On Strike, but a slowed down, lounge version of that song. And that’s basically what the music is – same chords as Goin’ On Strike, but a very different feel.

I like the ‘wake up’ moment at “as she bumps and grinds” where you can almost see the guy shaking his head as he comes out of his trance-like dream. And I love that low, jazzy keyboard solo I played on the left channel there. It was only going to be a brief instrumental section, but I started to hear lyrics to go with it, and so I wrote them and scatted them over the top. It’s nice that I got to mention Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill in the song, as that Russ Meyer film was shown that night at the Toff as pre-show entertainment.

I tried to get a kind of witty, Cole Porter vibe with the lyrics. I took a couple of lines from the retro Americana/girly magazine Barracuda (great mag, btw) for extra corniness – they’re the ones about the electric chair and “nothing risque nothing gained”. And I can’t believe that, as far as I know, no one has used the line “she’s a page right out of Betty” before. I hereby claim it as my own.

I have to give a big shout out to Milt Bruckner and his song The Beast (on the Ultralounge comp Bachelor Pad Music) for giving me some ideas on the direction to go with the keyboard lines in the choruses. They were tricky! And I’d better give a nod to Peggy Lee and her band for some samples I took from their rendition of Fever – specifically the bass drum and the finger clicks. They really helped give the song the atmosphere it needed. I’d really like to hear this one sung by a sexy female voice, like Peggy’s!

By the way, Brandy Wall, the babe in the picture…I saw her in Vegas!

Burlesque Babe, by Russell Forden

She’s so completely not demure.

You wouldn’t say exactly pure.

But she’s a beauty all the same,

Her buxomness her claim to fame.

 

How she prowls around the stage,

Post-modern spin on a more innocent age.

Glamorous but also modest, she is a tattooed goddess,

Goes to show that nothing risque nothing gained.

 

She’s not quite fresh as a daisy,

But all the same she is a lady,

She doesn’t spread her thighs for every guy she finds.

 

If you think that is impossible,

Your responses are illogical.

You just want her for her body, not her mind.

 

You’re a man who’s big on prejudice

And anecdotal evidence,

You’re gonna lose the argument every time.

 

Dancing there she’s quite a sight:

Stilettos, fishnet stockings, skin tight.

Lace up corset, black brassiere,

Shapely legs that go up to her derriere.

 

She’s got the moves that always drive the fellas wild.

When she removes her skirt and bra they stand beguiled.

She wriggles like spaghetti, she’s a Page right out of Betty.

Her tassels twirling around all the while.

 

Really she’s too much girl to handle,

It could only cause a scandal

If she ever got down off that pedestal.

 

When she gives a guy that baby stare

He’d be safer in an electric chair.

But he’ll go and meet his fate coz he deserves it.

 

He’ll have to farm her out to other guys

Just to keep her satisfied,

But he knows that in the end it will be worth it!

 

As she bumps and grinds you realise you never had a chance,

You were just dreaming while she dance to Faster Pussycat Kill.

In the end she’s just a fantasy, a glimpse of what we want to be.

And for a while our dream has been fulfilled.

Yes, and for a while our dream has been fulfilled.

 

She’s so completely not demure.

You wouldn’t say exactly pure.

But she’s a beauty all the same,

Her buxomness her claim to fame.

 

Here she comes now…

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