Sun. Jul 21st, 2024

The Final Battle, by Grover’s Mill (Muse Cycle #3.5)

This, like my other song Illyria, is another song inspired by the character from the TV show Angel, the Buffy spinoff. It’s pretty much Illyria Part Two. It’s not strictly a part of the Muse Cycle, but thought I’d add it here anyway for continuity. This very rough demo was originally supposed to be mainly instrumental, with a few interjections from Illyria. The idea for the rap came out of a plan I had to scat to some of the guitar lines. I eventually did some scatting (especially with “Illyria, she was superior”) but found it too hard to do it for the entire guitar line – and I think it would have ruined it anyway. Still, I wanted to tell something of what I think happened during the battle (which we didn’t actually see on the show) and found the only way to do it was to clear some space at the start before the guitar really kicks in. This was where my bass guitar really came in handy. I used it to come up with the ascending riff that anchors the song while the guitar’s going all over the place.

In the alternate history of my dreams where I’m a rock star in a band called Grover’s Mill I imagine us playing this live, adding a bit of rock theatre. During the extended instrumental section (“Let’s go to work!”), where I say “then came Illyria”, a woman – an actress, or model dressed and made up as Illyria – comes out on stage with a trident or some kind of weapon (with rubber points!) and starts saying her lines, all the while jabbing selected audience members with her weapon. Imagine it: Illyria looks at some guy in the audience, says “This one is lusting after me!”, jabs him with her weapon, and he falls down theatrically in mock agony and ecstacy! Other ‘horny demon’ audience members in front line up enthusiastically to be ‘killed’ by Illyria!

The Final Battle, by Russell Forden


The enemy fell as they faced the hell,

The enemy fell as they faced the hell…


Of Queen Illyria and Angel and the rest of the crew.

Those battle-scarred warriors really knew what to do.

First Angel took the field and unleashed an all-out attack,

He cut so many demons down wielding his sword just like an axe.

(Or…while the rest of the team had his back)


Next came old William the Bloody, he was better known as Spike.

He was intent on slaughter, you could see it in his eyes.

A mighty centurian tried to spear him in the side,

But the vampire erupted with a devastating bite.


Then Gunn made a blast but his hopes were fading fast.

His ten minutes were long up but he would fight until the last.

He took on a horde of demons who just didn’t like his face,

Gave as good as what he got, then disappeared without a trace.


Meanwhile Angel was busy with cutting a bloody swathe,

Thinking kindly of sweet Buffy and of all the souls he saved.

He looked above and spied that dragon circling the skies,

With a mighty heave he threw the sword and realised his prize.


Next came Illyria…

A tilt of her head and all the demons fell dead.

And then Illyria, she was superior.

She went berserk upon the hordes…


And now that I’ve run out of words,

I’ll let the music tell the rest of the song.

So just play on, play on!

Yeah, slay on!


Let’s go to work!


(Random interjections from Illyria and one horny demon!)


Let’s groove!

Ooh baby!

This one is lusting after me.

Yeah hurt me, I’ve been a bad demon!

Ow! Hey you play too rough, baby!


A tilt of her head and all the demons fell dead,

And the evil of this world was consumed.

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